Thoughts on Friday the 13th (2009)

I would like to start off by saying that..

Drugs and boobs DO NOT make a horror movie, Micheal Bay!

Micheal Bay had a chance to take an old film and go outside of the box to make it new and fresh, but sadly he decided that the movie should go as follows:

1)Terrible dialogue
2)Show some marijuana
3)Cliche death scene
4)Show some boobs
5)more terrible dialogue
6)Show more boobs
7)Another lame death scene

A hatchet to the back here, a knife to the head there.
Honestly, it wasn't exciting at all. Every time Jason came on screen all I could think was, "Oh, there's Jason." That saying was then followed by the voice of Mario from Super Mario Bros. saying, "HERE WE GOOOOOO!".

The only thing the movie really had going for it was the scenery. Beautiful, foggy, woodland areas....you know, the usual.

Micheal could have really gone above expectation with this project, but instead he ruined the franchise for all Friday the 13th fans. All I can hope for is that he doesn't ruin Nightmare of Elm Street as well. Oh wait, Robert Englund isn't playing Freddy--well fuck.


I give Friday the 13th (2009):

3 out of 8 BITS